best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
