in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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