it was like eating out sand paper
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
