i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
