When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
