I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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