I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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