I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize