I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
