Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
