you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
