Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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