watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
