What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I CAN MOONWALK!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
