if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
