Swine flu. Run for my life!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
