my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
