Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
