You just made me feel so damn special
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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