she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
