I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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