What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
