I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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