Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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