There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
