She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
