Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
