Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
