Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
