So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
