I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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