woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
do nipples grow back?
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