the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I need to align my fucking chakras
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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