Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
