somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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