she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
