Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
