and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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