belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
