i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
