The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
