wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
