I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He felt like a one man threesome
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
NoShamevember. You game?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
