My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
