You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
