did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
