I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
