That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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