even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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