we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
