Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
