I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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