Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i think i just lost a toe
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
