I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
