is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
